ParenTips
March 2009
“If my parenting really affects my children’s view of GOD, then how do I parent my children to see JESUS?”
Without a doubt, the parent/child relationship is a mirror of our own relationship with CHRIST. JESUS said that we must enter the Kingdom of GOD as little children. (Luke 18:17) Childlike faith believes without reservation.
All too often we approach GOD with many reservations. We slap labels on our reservations and call them: ‘taking a realistic approach’, ‘considering the circumstances’, ‘good judgment’, ‘common sense’, etc. You can fill the blank. These labels, reservations, and the process that develops is one that limits GOD. The result minimizes GOD to us and others and also diminishes our perceived need for HIM. We live our life wishing there was some lifeline of help or some type of endlessly accessible source that gave answers, provided decision-making guidelines, and could interactively move through the situations of life with us. If only we had an Instruction Book for life and parenting!
This interactive source is offered. The instructions are written and available by nearly every known media and in most earthly languages and reading levels. If we will reach up our hand and let GOD the FATHER be our personal data source, we will find HIM to be so much more than that. This is the ultimate parent/child relationship of all time. Walking daily with our Father can be just as difficult as any relationship, but it is also the most rewarding relationship ever.
We must not lose sight of GOD as a loving FATHER. No matter what, we cannot stop growing in our relationship with HIM. HE desires to be more in our lives than an hour long activity for the weekend, a guilt-ridden glance at words in a book, a magic genie we beg in times of crisis, or an ATM for desired blessings.
HE is our FATHER. HE made us. HE knows us. HE gets us. HE wants to interact with us. We cannot allow ourselves to reduce our time with HIM to only church going, Bible reading and hymn singing. What HE wants with you is what you want with your kids – a daily relationship. An interactive, valuable, growing, heart-level relationship. HE does not expect perfection, HE wants to be personally involved.
I know that my parents have watched as I have gone through some changes in life. I have been downright stupid, confused, cocky, hurtful, silly, confidently wrong, driven, and a myriad of other things. They have not always liked my choices or agreed with my decisions. When it applied, they were forced to correct my behavior, but they have not ever failed to love me. GOD the Father is like this. We must approach HIM with idea in mind. HE may not be happy with our lifestyle or choices but that does not change HIS passion for deep daily interaction with us. Even if your earthly parent/child relationship was not similar to mine you can experience it with GOD as your FATHER and as your role model. Many see GOD as stainless steel, unapproachable, non-caring. HE is the opposite. HIS love for us drove HIM to make a series of choices that required great personal cost for HIM. HE made those choices. Paid that cost. Do you really think that now, for any possible reason, HE could be disinterested? We lose sight and give up - but JESUS does not. (Hebrews 13:8) HE is focused on loving us.
So how does this apply to parenting? If you will engage in a daily interactive relationship with your FATHER, you will have a role model, a data source, and an instruction manual standing ready every moment of everyday. It will also be intensely personal and unique. Your children will see and experience this. You will parent your kids to JESUS.
February 2009
It is clear, throughout scripture, that GOD initiated marriage and the family. However, if you read the Bible with the intent of finding role-model parents, you will find more failures than successes. There are many verses concerning parents, fathers, mothers, obedience and applicable topics to help us. There are just not many top-shelf examples of great parenting. If you do read the Bible looking for great parents to emulate, you might give up reading before you complete Genesis. The very first family was marred by a sibling rivalry that led to murder. See Genesis 2 (Marriage and Family) and Genesis 4 (Murder)
It is important to note here, that the ‘parents success rating’ (PSR) cannot always be tabulated by the children’s choices. We may have to give Adam and Eve a little break. They didn't have a lot of the resources that are available to us. There was no internet with site after site to consult. There was no long-term data on human behavior for them to reference. Certainly, there were no authors with odd last names and long lists of credentials to assist Adam and Eve as they sought to lovingly guide their children without squashing their psyche or damaging their self image. This pair didn’t even have TV doctors or talk show hosts to supply them with boot camps or therapists. What they had was daily access to GOD…then again, so do we.
The ultimate example of parenting is our FATHER who is GOD. HE knows, better than any of us, what is like to have big plans for HIS children only to watch the whole family suffer the hurt caused by the children’s choices. HE is the role model, found in scripture, for parents to emulate. HE is also the main object to which we can point our dearest ones. HIS word is our true guide, HIS character our daily goal, HIS strength our unfailing asset and HIS love our assured connection. The highest objective and the most difficult task is to keep a grasp of our responsibility to lead our children to JESUS CHRIST by how we parent them. This is not a guilt trip towards perfection but a declaration of the only true (PSR). Parenting requires us to know and to deepen our walk with HEAVENLY FATHER. Isn’t it great how HE provides us with growth opportunities! We need HIM more everyday and so do our kids.